Just Fake It

I know what you’re thinking. Get your mind out of the gutter.

I recently got my hair cut and colored so I can be presentable at holiday parties. Someone complimented my new coif at last night’s festivities and innocently asked, “Is your hair just highlighted? Is your base your natural hair color?”

Honey, I couldn’t pick my natural hair color out in a line up.

I have been a brunette, blonde, and redhead, and every version in-between. I actually had to think about my natural hair color when she inquired. Sure, I know it’s brown, but is it light- or medium-brown? Does it have any dimension, or is it just a solid color? When was the last time I sported my natural hair color? 1985?

My motto has always been it’s much easier to change my hair color than the size of my butt. My hair has been fake for so long I don’t know what’s real.

I believe in faking it when it comes to cooking, too. If I can get away with slashing a few calories without compromising flavor, why not? After my late night last night (if you must know it was midnight, but that’s late for a woman with a six-month-old), I felt like making a lazy brunch. And my go to dish is something I call “fake quiche.” It’s fake because there’s no crust, but you won’t miss it. Fake quiche is real delicious.

Fake Quiche


1 onion, chopped

2 small zucchini, grated

1/2 cup of vegetable oil

3 eggs

1/2 cup of parmesan, grated

1 cup of cheddar jack cheese, shredded

1 cup of Bisquick

1/2 teaspoon of Italian seasoning

Fresh ground pepper, to taste


Beat eggs in a large bowl, and mix with Italian seasoning, pepper, and vegetable oil until combined. Add zucchini, onion, Bisquick, and cheeses, and mix together. Pour into an 8 x 8 pan coated with butter flavored cooking spray. Bake in a 350 oven for one hour, or until the top is golden brown. Allow some time to cool before serving.

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