Dirty Girl

Alex at dinner tonight...believe it or not, this was taken before things really got messy!

This evening, Alex tipped the cat’s water dish over, emptied the contents of the only non-baby-proofed drawer in the kitchen, and made an impossible tippy-toed grab for an open bag of yogurt snacks and flung them everywhere. This occurred in a 20-second span–no exaggeration–following his mess hall of a dinner. Does turkey meatloaf, peas, and rice all over his clothes, in the deep crevices of his highchair, and under the stove sound like a chore or what?

Am I the only Mommy who feels like she’s losing the cleaning battle?

Broom in hand, I am constantly making the rounds. It’s almost like my secret lover at this point (sadly, I get those Swiffer commercials that give brooms personalities and decent singing voices). I sweep, sweep, and sweep some more and it makes absolutely no difference. I am no match for my little man.

Making my move for the stove.

Sometimes I am guilty of tapping into my inner June Cleaver, trying to deliver a clean house, bathed child, and home-cooked dinner before my husband gets home. All I can say is I pray there are no hidden cameras in any of Alex’s teddy bears, because my mad dash before 6:15 p.m. should not be witnessed. If I open the dishwasher, Alex darts over and tries to climb in. If I start picking up his toys, he hightails it to the wine bar to pull a bottle out (he’s ignored our “Alex, we don’t do that” warnings one million times so it will soon meet the same fate as our coffee table). If I try to prep the kitchen for our dinner he inevitably finds the a computer cord, banned toy, or tiny piece of paper and pops it in his mouth. It’s hopeless.

Some days I just spray some cleaner that makes the house smell like freshly-squeezed lemons, take off my bra, put on a white t-shirt, and call it a day. Who am I kidding? Most days that’s exactly what I do (when in doubt boobs distract). If the house is a real horror show (it’s rare–I am really not that bad), I can always accidentally spill a little water on myself, too. I am not above acting like a desperate housewife at times.

At least I get some brownie points for creativity–and for using naptime to prepare a homemade dinner every night (one of my hubby’s favorite appetizers–besides my wet t-shirt contest–is below).

I honestly try really hard on the home-front–but feel like it’s so difficult to keep up with my 14-month-old’s messes during the day. Mommies who have white-glove clean homes must suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, be heavily medicated, or have some secret system for getting it all done (please enlighten me if that’s the case). There’s no other explanation!

Do you have any tips for keeping on top of your house with a toddler (and a teenager–though I am on sabbatical from her during her summer camp stint)? I am feeling like a dirty girl at the moment.



6 tomatoes (I prefer vine-ripened)

1/4 cup fresh basil, stems removed and chopped

1/4 cup good quality olive oil (Mommy Dish note: I always keep two bottles of olive oil in my house; a less expensive one for cooking, and quality one for use as an ingredient in dishes.)

3 cloves garlic, minced

1/4 teaspoon salt, or more to taste

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, or more to taste

1 French baguette

Mozzarella cheese, if desired


Set oven to broiler setting. Slice bruchetta and lay slices out on a cookie sheet. Toast on one side until golden brown, about 2-3 minutes.

Combine all the rest of the ingredients together in a bowl. Scoop out a heaping spoonful and cover each slice of bruchetta. If desired, you can top with cheese and pop it back in the oven (we prefer it au natural).

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