Kids Say the Darndest Things…Especially Mine!

Why are people looking at me in the supermarket, Mommy?

Kids say the darndest things. My son likes to scream something that sounds a little lot like “cock”–at the loudest decibel possible.

Of course it’s a mispronunciation. What kind of Mommy do you think I am?

Scenario No. 1: Wheeling Alex through the supermarket parking lot (I always make a fun game of it by looking both ways, waiting for him to yell, “go!”, and taking off as fast as my out-of-shape legs will take me). He sees a large supplier “truck” parked in the fire lane. One hundred million percent boy, Alex gets excited about a big ‘ol “truck.” And even more thrilled when a trucker flashes his toothless grin (immediate bonding because they both have lots of spaces, maybe?) and honks his horn. “Cock! Cock!” Alex yells, thrilled with his life. “Cock!”

Yes, “truck” is “cock” in our world. And all of the gawking supermarket shoppers think it’s funny, too.

Scenario No. 2: Sitting down to a family dinner. Alex is getting good at using his “fork,” but calls that a “cock” as well. He’s also obsessed with food temperature, always asking if food is hot. So it goes a little something like this:

Alex staring at his food inquisitively: “Hot?”

Me, torturing myself for a split second wondering if it’s cool enough but ultimately deciding it’s fine: “No, it’s not hot, sweetie. It’s okay to eat.”

Alex, pointing to his “fork.” “Cock?”

Me, stifling laughter at putting his two words–“hot cock”–together. I am really mature. “Yes, that’s your FORK. Take a bite.”

We’ve clearly established I am turning 39 in 3 days, so I can mostly control my laughter. But my teenage stepdaughter? Hell, no. She giggles uncontrollably when Alex yells “cock” at the table. It’s a giggle that is so deep that it creates tears for Ashley…and for her Dad, because he still can’t believe she knows what that means (and has a little trucker mouth herself, too).

Want to come over for dinner? I am serving up a versatile dish (see below).

What does your kid/did your kid mispronounce that gives/gave you the giggles?

p.s. I have to give credit where credit is due…Alex honestly has an incredible vocabulary and says most things right (this is for you, Alex, so you don’t get mad at me for talking “cock” in the future). Oh, and please keep voting for me in the little brown box at the top of your page! Thanks!


This is the beef version. I don't eat it, as you know, but my family loves it. I am a fan of the vegetarian version! : )

Cheeseburger Pie (in Beef, Turkey, and Vegetarian Versions!)

Ingredients

1 pound of ground beef, ground turkey, or vegetarian crumbles
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup Bisquick
1 vidalia onion, chopped
1 cup of cheddar cheese, shredded
1 cup milk
Olive oil

If adding beef:
1 tablespoon Montreal Steak Seasoning
1 tablespoon steak sauce

If adding turkey
1 tablespoon Montreal Checken seasoning
1 tablespoon Worcesterchire

If adding vegetarian crumbles
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1-2 tablespoons tomato sauce

Method

Pour enough olive oil to coat the skillet. Add onions and cook until translucent. Add ground beef, turkey, or vegetarian crumbles and cook until done (drain if necessary, especially with ground beef or turkey), and return to the pan. Add in the spices noted for the pie you’re making (i.e. Montreal Steak Seasoning and steak sauce for ground beef), and stir until combined.

Transfer cooked meat/crumbles into a pie plate coated with cooking spray. Sprinkle cheddar cheese on top, covering it fully. In a separate bowl, combine beaten eggs, milk, and Bisquick together, and pour it over the cheese. Bake in a 400 degree oven for about 25 minutes, until a tester comes out clean. Serve with a fresh salad, and it’s a quick and easy dinner!

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