Hot Baby Names Are Pretty Cold (If You’re the One Saddled With Them)

baby-name-surprisedI am proud my son is number 46 on the mid-year list of most popular baby names. Technically, he’s not even ranked on Nameberry’s list—his legal name is Alex, not Alexander (which I thought was too stuffy for my offspring and I was right), but it’s pretty close. Middle name James, number 17. Alex James. I am doing something right as a parent giving him an unpopular name.

In 2014, names near the bottom of the list are ones that are easily pronounced, don’t belong in a fruit bowl (still reeling from Gwynnie’s naming of her daughter, Apple), on the wing of a plane (Hello, North West), or could double as the name of a breakthrough pharmaceutical drug (Imogen is the no. 1 girls’ name. Imogen!).

Call me crazy, but when I named Alex I sang the Bananafana song to make sure his name didn’t rhyme with any swears or humiliating words. You know…Chuck, Chuck, bo buck, Bananafana fo fuck. Yeah, it sucks to be Chuck in the second grade. When it’s Alex’s turn to sing his Bananafana song on the playground he can be proud, baby, because his mama thought of everything. I even made sure his initials didn’t spell out anything cringe-wrothy, as one of my friends growing up had initials that spelled A.S.S. and it traumatized me (he managed to overcome just fine).

So, what are the top ten names that are trending for boys (the ones I cannot pronounce are highlighted with ***)?
1. Asher

2. Declan ***

3. Atticus

4. Finn

5. Oliver

6. Henry

7. Silas ***

8. Jasper

9. Milo

10. Jude (I am a Beatles fan, so this is cool).

And for girls:
1. Imogen

2. Charlotte

3. Isla *** (Is this Is-la or Ila? Not a bad name, but it confuses me.)

4. Cora

5. Penelope

6. Violet

7. Amelia

8. Eleanor (All I can think of is Eleanor Roosevelt, forever. No one else can own that name. Sorry, newborn Eleanors.)

9. Harper

10. Claire (Who associates Claire with The Breakfast Club? That would be me.)

Am I the only person who thinks the top baby names should not include Silas, Declan, and Harper? These are not celebs…everyday people are on the Imogen bandwagon. What is going on?


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One Response to Hot Baby Names Are Pretty Cold (If You’re the One Saddled With Them)

  1. Adam says:

    Imogen? How do you even pronounce that? And where did everybody come up with that name, must be a TV show I haven’t seen.

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