“Mom, I Think You’re The Tooth Fairy”

It was a battle of wits last night in my home. The Tooth Fairy versus an insatiably curious and inquisitive 8-year-old who doubts her very existence.

My son has only lost four teeth. Last night was a big milestone; his first top tooth! He was thrilled, and I immediately fell in love with his toothless grin.

He carefully placed his tooth in his special holder for the Tooth Fairy, as usual, but then things took a turn. “I don’t think the Tooth Fairy is real, mom,” he said. “I think you’re the Tooth Fairy.”

Uh-oh.

Taken aback, I laughed, a little too loudly. “You really think I am that talented, Alex? That’s high praise for your mom!”

He got my vibe and didn’t press further.

After he read a book, he placed his tooth in his tooth holder, under his pillow.

“Exciting night!” I said. “Make sure you fall asleep quick so the Tooth Fairy can do what she does best!”

We exchanged “I love yous” and he went to sleep…or so I thought.

When I went into his room a few hours later to spread some mom magic, the tooth holder was not where he put it. At first, I thought it shifted a bit as he tosses and turns before he falls asleep, but I quickly realized that wasn’t the case. My little bugger was trying to test his Tooth Fairy theory!

Desperate, I started feeling under his pillow and all around his bed. Nothing. The holder glows in the dark; a can’t miss for the Tooth Fairy. He hid it!

Exasperated, I left his room, and started thinking of excuses. I could tell him that the Tooth Fairy doesn’t visit if the tooth isn’t under the pillow, or that she just sprinkled the money on his mattress, like a pimp Tooth Fairy, trusting that he will deliver his tooth the following night.

I had my husband look, too, and he couldn’t find it, either.

Around midnight, I was walking in the hallway outside of his room and I heard the familiar sound of his tooth holder closing. I swung the door open and he quickly faked sleeping. Stealth…but not stealth enough, I thought.

I shut his door again, and waited one long minute, knowing I would trick him. I am still smart enough to outwit an 8-year-old, despite losing lots of IQ points as an overworked, overtired, overloaded mom.

Triumphantly, I opened his door and caught him, red-handed, messing with his tooth holder. “You better go to sleep, Alex,” I said, sternly.

UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE!

I got up at 4:00 a.m.–I am like a newborn with the amount of times I wake each night– and decided to try again. Quietly, I snuck into his room. This time, I was confident he was fast asleep. The tooth holder was in the right place; right under his pillow. What a relief!

I opened it slowly so it wouldn’t make that familiar noise. When I went to slip some money in, I noticed his tooth was missing.

That little shit!

Really, should moonlighting as a Tooth Fairy be this much work?

Once again, I started feeling around his bed for the small plastic bag that contained his tooth. It took me a solid fifteen minutes to find it. I took it with me and left, undetected.

Exasperated and exhausted, I finally crawled back under my covers at about 4:30 a.m. My alarm was going to go off in two short hours, but I couldn’t help but smile wide. 

Score one for the Tooth Fairy.

I won.

I’ve still got it, Alex. Do not doubt your mom. Ever.

When he woke this morning, he discovered both his tooth was gone and money was placed in his tooth holder.

“Look, mom, I got money from the Tooth Fairy.”

“She’s pretty talented, isn’t she?” 😏🙌

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