Tick Tock, Tick Tock: He’s a Toddler!

Is it possible my son was born with a toddler alarm secretly embedded in his head? His baby days are over. I am already dealing with the good, the bad, and the ugly of toddlerhood…less than 2 weeks after The Big One.

The Good:

Checking the chicks out at Whole Foods.

My little man’s got game. He has always been a huge flirt, but he’s suddenly figured out how to woo the ladies wherever we go. He says, “hi!” and waves to everyone, but gives a special “you’ve got it going on” head tilt to the pretty ones. He maintains eye contact, babbles his signature sweet talk, and closes with an irresistible grin. Each and every one of them are powerless to his charms. My never-ending trips to the grocery store are his match.com, and he gets nothing but winks.

Alex is oozing confidence on the home front, too. He’s taking his first steps unassisted, pulling to stand on any surface, toy, or person, and climbing over anything in his way in breakneck speed. According to hard core baby-proofing standards, we’re living in nothing short of a frat house, so I am always within arm’s length. It’s exhausting.

Hangin' with my man Beau. He digs my British accent.

He adopted a British accent only when he calls my Mom’s dog by his name (“Beau”). It’s so stinkin’ cute.

He has a sophisticated palatte that savors table food. He eats his fruits and vegetables without a whimper. He can handle sizable chunks of food with no drama. He’s McDreamy for Mommy Dish (tomorrow he will try my homemade blueberry muffins–recipe below!).

The bad:

You can try to take me for a quick walk in my pjs, Mommy, but it's not going to work. You have to learn to cope without my morning nap.

Alex is in the process of consolidating his usual two naps into one afternoon nap. No more morning nap for Mommy and coffee prices are on the rise. I am screwed.

He thinks the word “No” is funny. It used to stop him in his tracks, but now it cues his laughter soundtrack. If I switch it up and say, “We don’t do that, Alex,” completely straight-faced, that makes him giggle, too. I told you he’s a player.

Troublemaker? Nah...I prefer to look at myself as a trendsetter.

Even though he’s a boy, I like him to look put together. The outfit is stylish, the Baby Bieber hair is tight, and his beautiful face is crumb-free (even if I have to wipe my way through a temper tantrum while singing the ABCs). But now he’s ruining my presentation by pulling off one sock and/or shoe in his car seat, his stroller, his high chair–anywhere. I had to give up today and wheel him around Nordstroms with one bare foot because he wouldn’t have it any other way. Non-Mommy fashionistas shot me looks of disgust; little do they know they’d be no match for a mighty toddler, either.

The ugly:

I am afraid I might have the playground picker on my hands. He’s constantly shoving his pointer finger up his nose. And if I try to tell him, “no” he shoves it even deeper. Yeah, it’s ugly–too ugly to give you a visual. Welcome to toddlerhood!

I got 2-for-1 blueberries at the grocery store. Of course I am going to make muffins!

Bakery Style Blueberry Muffins

2/3 cup vegetable oil

2/3 cup milk (you can substitute buttermilk if you happen to have it on hand)

2 eggs

3 cups flour

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 teaspoon salt

4 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 1/4 cups fresh blueberries ( do not use frozen blueberries, and make sure the fresh blueberries taste good by themselves; biggest mistake you can make is using tart blueberries).

Crumb Topping:

1/2 cup white or brown sugar (your preference–both are good)

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 cup butter, cubed

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Method

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Grease oversized muffin cups or line with muffin liners. Combine flour, 3/4 sugar, salt and, baking powder. Combine vegetable oil, egg, and milk in another bowl, and add to dry mixture. Fold in blueberries. Fill muffin cups right to the top, and sprinkle heavily with crumb topping.

Crumb topping: Mix together 1/2 cup sugar, 1/3 cup flour, 1/4 cup butter, and 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon. Mix with a fork or your hands, and generously sprinkle over muffins before baking. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until done.